They may have irrational anger, drink too much or fall into depression. They are wounded emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, if not physically. There are soldiers who have returned from Afghanistan with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Judging and rejecting others can be disrespectful. Then a question of wonder rises, “Why isn’t she more pessimistic, depressed or negative? What gave her such resilience? As the Dalai Lama says, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. I often hear stories of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and great pain. Once I hear a person’s story, typically in a therapy session, I see them as a miracle. As humans we are wise to have a good dose of love and compassion for one and another. If we rejected people for their weaknesses we would all be at risk for exclusion. Dig deep enough and we all have weaknesses. If you get stuck in optimism you may trust people who are not trustworthy, even harmful to you.
If they are used too often, strengths can become weaknesses. Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” A strong Internal Locus of Control can help us keep in alignment with our values. Holocaust survivor and Psychologist, Victor Frankl, wrote about building our Internal Locus of Control. You, as the expression goes, are the captain of your ship. So what is the point? Here are eight problems with believing you are the average of the five (or whatever number you want to decide on) people you spend the most time with. That belief contradicts these ideas: Eight Problems with Eliminating Others from Your Life We called it great service! I have noticed my life half empty, grumbled about it, heard my problem, and made changes. Seeing the glass half empty: At Calgary’s Prego restaurant the attentive waiter repeatedly noticed my glass half empty and filled it.Complaining: Is that not what we expect the opposition party to do? Find fault and complain until something better is achieved ? Do you not make improvements after someone complains about your behavior? Do we not expect our children to change for the better if we complain about their choices? Customer complaints often make for better service or products.Also, consider many adolescents with raging hormones who are described as moody! My mother used to call this phenomenon, The Curse. Feeling moody: Do not call me sexist, but before menopause, for several days every month you could count on me to have fluctuating moods.I spent a week with a furrowed forehead from a disconcerting blood clot issue. Frowning: Most people in chronic or continual pain frown.My hubby tends to see the downside of some of my lofty, save-the-world ideas and is primarily responsible for us living in a comfortable home.
They have come to believe they will act like those other negative people. Why? Because they come to believe Jim Rohn’s or Gitomer’s predictions. They judge those who feel down or see the glass half empty. They eliminate those who criticize or complain.
People end up talking about and sometimes taking action based on these beliefs. They avoid those who have a pessimistic perspective or frown.
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